Constant "CRAVING"

Yesterday I cover the habit loop, which enables me to understand myself better in terms of my habits. 

Habits, nevertheless, will never be permanent unless there is craving. To explain about the craving, an illustration about Pepsodent really opened my eyes.

I did not really thought what really drives me to brush my teeth every morning and evening. Maybe you thought, "Its just what normal human being do. I do it every day." Actually, it was not what normal human being do in early 1900s. Brushing your teeth was not an obligation. During those times, US was a wealthier nation than before, causing raising consumption on foods with refined sugar. When World War I was drafted, they found out that rotting teeth had become national security risk. They already have toothbrush and toothpaste at that moment, but not a lot of people felt required to do so. 

Pepsodent, and Claude Hopkins were those that finally turned USA into a "tooth-brushing" country. How? People said it is his successful ad that does so. He focused on the habit loop: by using tooth film as the cue, brushing teeth with Pepsodent as routine, and removed film as reward. He was not actually the first person to utilize such habit loop. Other toothpaste manufacturers have been using the same formula, but they did not succeed. What is the real cause, then? It was later found that the Pepsodent recipe is the real cause. They used citric acid, mint oil, and some other chemical components that is intended actually to create fresh taste in mouth but they did not realize that it actually creates tingling effect in gums and tongue. 

I started to realize that I brush my teeth because my mouth feels refreshed and has that tingling effect after I do it. I have tried several other toothpaste that use no components causing those effects and then, brushing teeth did not feel as exciting as before. It caused me to switch toothpaste again, after that. It is not really the ad that succeed. It is the CRAVING they created, craving for those after-tooth brushing effects.

Craving is what powers the habit. It drives people to do the same thing over and over again to satisfy their craving for specific reward. What drives me to workout? It is the craving of the "feel good" sensation that i always get after a workout. What drives the overweight woman to keep eating? It is the craving of the taste of her choice of food that comforts her after she eat. What drives the mouse? Of course, it is the chocolate. Just wanting the reward will never get us forming a habit, only when we crave for the reward that we can form a habit. 

Now the question is, can we change a habit? Yes, we can. Why? Because there are thousands of overweight, alcoholics, nicotine-addicts, and junkies that finally quit what they used to do. What is the secret? Ill cover it in the next post. J

The Habit Loop

Last week i finished a book entitled The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This is one of the books recommended by the interviewer i mentioned in my post "a thank you note".

The book is quite thick and it is single spaced, with 10' Times New Roman. Not the kind of book I usually read. The book, however, was very interesting! Flipping through its pages felt like an adventure - can be equated to reading The Hunger Games (maybe on a scoreboard Hunger Games will be 9 and the book will be 8 so you know what I mean right? :p)

The writer is an investigative reporter - so i guess all his past investigations gave him extraordinary insight to craft this EXTRAORDINARY book. The content is really interesting, so I am really excited to share what I think about the book! :D I am going to cover it part by part because it is a pretty long book. :)

When I think of habit, I will think about all those small things I do, such as: I button my shirts downwards, I brush my teeth after I wake up and before I sleep, I check my Instagram as soon as I look at my Samsung phone, etc. My small habits, unconsciously, build my daily life. That is why it is so powerful. Small things I start finally become habit without my realization. A concrete example is, I started working out about 1.5 year ago when I did my Master in Sydney. Sydney's environment is really supportive for people who wants to work our outdoors. I just started it due to some health reason and for taking time out from endless study and assignments. Right now, it has become a habit. My brain will keep on questioning me when I skip a workout. It will keep nagging on me until I do it. After I do it, there will be some sense of accomplishment, and good feeling on my mind and body. Being hours in front of computer does not hurt as much as before (when working out was not my habit at all). It just felt really good and I decided to do it over and over again, every certain times.

People never want to be bad. I guess all of us have innate conscience to keep our virtue. No one wants to be alcoholics, gambling-addicts, porn-addicts, and overweight people. It is a small thing that turns big. Overweight people never realize that they are overeating until they see the number on the weight scale. I once saw a TV program where a beautiful woman told a story about how she becomes overweight. It was a really sad story. She said that food has been her source of comfort ever since she was raped when she was 14. Everytime those bad thoughts come, food will be her comforter, the thing that will help her forgetting her bitter past. When she was 15, she has gained a lot of pounds.

What Duhigg found in his research is that habit is a loop, consisting of cue, routine, and reward. Just like in the woman before, her cue is rush of the bitter past memories, her routine is eating, and her reward is feeling of comfort, of being able to brush off those bad thoughts.

MIT researchers once tried to analyse formation of habits. They used a mouse, a maze, and some chocolate. The maze was designed as a T-shaped with a gate right before where the mouse is placed. When the mouse heard a "click!" sound signing the gate is opened, it needs to run toward the left side of the T-maze to find the chocolate. This is done a lot of times. The researchers then found through a small device they put in the mouse brain that when the mouse run through the maze for the first time, there were so many brain activities seen from the fluctuations in the recorded graph of the brain. No wonder it happened, because the mouse seemed confusedly going to all directions throughout the complete run. However, as the activity was repeated, the brain activities also decline, it created a "chunking" - which enabled the mouse to act AUTOMATICALLY, and QUICKLY move to the chocolate. It created a habit. The cue in this case is the "click!" sound, the routine is running through the maze, and the reward is chocolate.

This phenomenon also happened to our brain. Why? Because our brain, just like us, always try to make things more and more efficient, so that it can give its energy to more important things, like inventing things, researching, and solving problems. This is why we can automatically do things that we do a lot of times perfectly (such as brushing your teeth, getting out our cars from the parking space, and applying make up before work).

This book really opened my eyes about my own habits. I can understand my cue, my routine, and my reward. I do not just do what I do automatically, but I know why I do it. I know when I do it. I know for what I do it.

The question, however, is can every small thing we start doing become a habit?
I will cover this in the next post. :)

Instant Habit Problem

Maybe it was a year ago, when i sat at my church listening to the sermon. The pastor asked us if we realized that we are a part of that iGeneration, stating that the i stands for instant.

One year later, and i am still thinking about it. It is not that i agree rightaway with the statement. I still chew on that up to now and i do not think that i can agree 100% with the statement. However, i think there is some part of this generation (well maybe, to be more subjective because this is just an opinion post - my generation) that reflects the instant habits.

Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines instant (adjective) as "becoming something very quickly" "happening or done without delay"

We have so much instant things right now. You name it. Instant photos, instant foods. I, personally, like instant noodles (despite the fact that eating too much of it will cause health problems), it is really good, cheap, and you can get a decent meal (well at least according to my taste - not for all brand of instant noodles though) in about 3-5 mins. It is just like getting something good in a snap. We can see that people are trying to invent almost every type of food in its instant form.

The pastor used iGeneration, and Apple products came rightaway to my mind, i think the pastor was inspired by them in throwing that statement. Apple named their products with i.... iMac, iPod, iPad, etc. I was curious about what the i stands for. I did some googling (i think this is a new verb - a verb just formed during the time of my generation; as a reflection of the issue i am talking about), and found that actually when iMac was first introduced, the i stands for internet. It was launched in 1998, the beginning of the www. phenomenon and the i was given basically to make people realize that iMac will enable easier internet connection for its users. They just need 2 steps to connect to the internet (maybe back then they need more than 2 steps - so different from now, when we are connected anywhere anytime).

So.. i for internet. I think this is the beginning of the "instant" phenomenon sweeping enormously over my generation. Internet is the beginning, and then netscape, internet explorer, and Google. After google, we can find anything (the hardest question - like how was the universe formed; or the easiest - like how to make instant noodles) in milliseconds. Then.. we started to enjoy this thing, and now we are so used to it. I cant imagine my life without google to be honest. Google = instant intelligence.

All these things, all these small habits, have been infiltrating quite deeply to my life. I see it everyday, i live with it everyday, and i just realize that it really affects the way I think. The way i view things, the way i view obstacles.

I just graduated school, bachelor then master rightaway, why?I dont know why, almost all people told me to work first and then do master education, but my guts told me to do so. I had been praying for a long time asking God if it was something right to do and everything seemed like working together and telling me that the answer was "Yes". My principle in life is - you gotta do your job excellently, that is how you will get excellent things; so i studied really hard, and i kept in mind that God bless those who work dilligently; so i did it, expecting that i will land in a good company with a good position easily after i finish school (people supported this statement btw). It has been 2 months since i graduated, i have lodged in a lot of applications to my dream companies and other good companies (not my dream companies, but i see them as a really good companies to learn). Have i gotten a job? Nah. I still struggle, i thought... Why did i bother studying so hard if this is what i get? I thought i will get a good job rightaway because i have been doing well throughout my studies.

I asked God why, and just like other humans do... i asked God, "God, if You are willing, please... let me get a good job quickly." but i am still jobless now. Everytime people asks , "What are you doing now?" "Have u got a job?" "Are you in Jakarta already?" (FYI I dont live in Jakarta but I want to work there, because it is the ultimate city of opportunity in Indonesia), actually people, it is like you put more weight on my shoulders. Everyday is like a battle - a battle with those negative thoughts that haunted me - "Will you get a good job?" "Will you make it?" It was a tiring battle.

I asked my mom... and she just said "Be patient. Pray. Know that job hunting is not an easy thing. Do not be so ideal." It was hard to receive that kind of statements for the first time, and it is still hard to accept it for the second, third, and forth time.... But as that statement seep into my mind, that pastor's iGeneration statement came up again in my mind. I think the instant habits have been clouding my life perspectives. I view ideal things as those that come in instant manner. If it is not instant... it might not be that ideal. All those small things, those small googling habits, those small habits of getting anything i need through internet, those small habits of getting good meal in a package of instant noodles. Small things, accumulated unconsciously, developed into a kind of ideology in my mind.

Those thoughts, wake me up. I realized that this is not how i should view my life. I should trust God that His plans - His timing, more importantly; is the best for me. Maybe it is not an ideal timing according to me, but I believe that He is doing it for my own good, for giving me a future of hope.

I am still waiting for job interview calls now, but now I try to spend every minute in a more thankful way. All these waiting times, even inspired me to update this blog again. Looking at the bright side, I think this blog will still be poorly updated if I already got a job lol.

If you are going through a similar obstacle like mine.. please remember the old sayings "good things come to those who wait" (but people said "good things come to those who grab the opportunity") so, i think the wiser statement is the one in the Bible "...in quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15b NIV
God also said that "love is patient..." (1 Cor 13:4a NIV)  right? So maybe.. if we can be more patient with our lives, then we can see our lives in a more loving way and be more joyful in living . :)

A thankyou note

Blogging is not something that runs through my veins, it is not something that i really love, and it is not something that i am really interested in. I started this blog as a personal scrapbook - a book where i store my insights, ideas, thoughts, and reflections. It was purely personal motivation, but if it can help others, id be more than happy. I do not have writing background - i studied business; so writing is not my nature. All of these are why this blog is very poorly updated. I, frankly, am struggling on continuously updating this blog. 

I have been waiting for a job these last two months, and wondered what i should do, that can make me productive beside watching movies (i love movies - except horror, explicit thriller, and semiporn comedy); and then i recalled that i have this blog, so i started writing again! Hopefully, this can be a productive habit that i can keep and hopefully, I can be what written on the image above. :D :D

Last Friday, i was invited for a job interview for an HR position in one of the best financial institution in Indonesia. It was actually a followup interview as i had been interviewed once before.

I could get this opportunity by the referral of one of the most influential person that i knew in my life. Anyway, the person who invited me, was one of the most influential person in the financial institution, so I knew that if he wants to meet me in person, it is such an honour as He himself must have tons of to-dos and responsibilities.

Deep in my heart, i prayed that i can get that job, because i have been waiting for a job for almost 2 months (eventhough i dont know about the exact position and job desc i will get). Came to think about it, it actually opened my mind about another phenomenon that is happening in my generation (at least it is my hypothesis, havent been tested - just my thoughts; will discuss abt it in the next post). 

As i went inside the interview room, i felt quite tense and nervous, 
but the interviewer was nice and brings relaxed atmosphere. The interview went, well in my opinion - it didnt go well, i was nervous that i forgot the basic functions of HR, something that i should have remembered automatically without even trying to dig into my memories; other thing, i was nervous that i couldnt recall 2 of the 3 elective subjects that i studied during my master. Pretty terrible. The night before the interview, however, i felt quite unsure about the interview, it was like i could see myself not getting the job. 

The interview then went normally, i felt that it was directed to be like a coaching session rather than an interview. He jokingly said that the interview was actually a PhD lecture. It indeed, refreshed my brain on the basic HR concepts that i should dig in and understand more deeply (that i can say it automatically without even thinking as it has been ingrained in my memories); it also injected my brain with motivation, motivation to do even greater things, like going to school again and studying for something that i have been interested in very much, psychology (it is not that i want to be a clinical psychologist - i just want to learn about psychology more deeply that i may apply it in my daily life). 

He asked me if i like to read books, and I said, yes, well i was quite hesitant if my reading hobby is really valid as i dont really read "intellectual" and "serious" books - most of the books i read were novels  (please dont judge) and books talking about relationships, plus a little bit of autobiography. Hmm... Could it be categorized as a valid reading hobby? So i adjusted my statement, saying that i like reading but hate books which is filled only with theories. Then, he recommended a list of books, he said, the books are interesting because they are also filled with stories, about people, and about companies. So i thought, okay, maybe i can chew them. I put the list in my ipad notes but not really sure whether i should read them in the future. 

The interview came to an end and not surprisingly, he said that i dont get the job, because i am still lack of experience. He suggested me to join in the selection for management trainee program because he believed that if i can join in, it will be much easier for me to develop in the future. 

I must be lying if i say that i am not disappointed with the result. Those 2 months, waiting on phone calls, wondering why job hunting is really hard, and wondering why i bothered to study really hard by believing that good grades will give me job easily. I came home not satisfied and actually, 2 days before the interview, my self esteem was shattered - it was trigerred by an event - i think i dont need to put it here - but it really destroyed my defense system on negative thoughts; i gave up on those negativity that crushed me hardly. However, i am really thankful that God gave me a really supportive mom, through her words, i could pick up those shattered pieces and start to believe again, that God's plans -  eventhough i cant understand it sometimes - is the best. 

I came home, lie on the bed, and thinking... But that time, i prayed to God to give me enough strength to overcome that wave of negativity which tried to go into my mind. And i think again... Then somehow a statement popped in my head, "be thankful that you got that interview session, for eventhough you dont get the job, you gained valuable insights and ideas about your life - about what you should do for your life." Then i realized, it is indeed, very true. I was really inspired by that short interview session. 

The list of those recommended books, then came into my mind. I thought, i really need to upgrade my knowledge if i want to develop myself. Self-Satisfaction is not a good thing. So i drove to the nearest shoppung mall and bought two of the books from the list. 

One of the book that i just finished was entitled, "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. He did not lie, the interviewer clearly told me that the book contain stories about people. The book got me drowned inside it. Now that i have finished it, i wonder why i just started to read these kind of books when they are actually really useful. My stereotypes on books - i think, have really blinded me. I always stereotyped them as boring, thick, and i thought i will never finish one. But those stereotypes were wrong, i just finished a book, 284 pages single spaced 10' times new roman. 

I have fallen in love with this kind of book, and i am on my way to read more and more and more of them. :) 

Just like the title, this is my thankyou note, to GOD, who has crafted an interesting story - this story of my life - that those events could happen; to my Mom, who has been my bestest friend and my loyal supporter throughout all my ups and downs; and lastly, to the interviewer, thank you Sir for inspiring me through your "coaching/interview" session.

P.s. Ill try to post the book review in several days. 

wont let my worries make me regret later

Hi!!!

Well its been more than 6 months since i posted my last blog post.
Thanks to my MKTG833 lecturer who asked us about students who blogs in the class and asking everyone to keep on doing that.

Thanks Sir! :)

Just wanted to share what i am going through right now since i have not updated for so long.

I am currently in Australia, in Sydney, doing my postgraduate study, Master of Commerce specializing in HRM. I have finished my first semester and now im doing my second semester. This is already the second week and next week will be my third week. Wow, time flies!

Sometimes i wonder why should time fly so fast, leaving me older and older everyday. And as time goes by, i know that someday, i dont know when, i will need to say goodbye to people whom i love dearly and this makes me very sad. When i have such thoughts, i always plead God not to make that time come quickly, and ask Him to enable me to appreciate and embrace every precious seconds that i have on earth, with my loved ones.

However, i realize that the older we get, the more things and responsibilities we need to take and do, that we (most of the times) unconsciously, forget to reminisce every beautiful bits of life while we can. Well, if you dont feel like youre doing it, then maybe its only me doing that. Lol. The other times, its not the responsibilities and things that divert our focus from the best things in life, sometimes it is the fear of what may happen to our future. Like what i am currently experiencing, i am going to graduate soon, and there is nothing certain about my future, well i have plans, lots of plans actually, but for them to happen, there are lots of forces out of my control that need to do their things. I pray, i pray, and i pray, i ask God to help me to make my plans come true. But i am just a human being, i am not worry-proof... Worries often overtake the need to  realize that life is very beautiful and that i should be THANKFUL for my life!

Just like what God said in The Scriptures.. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God, and the peace of The Lord, which transcends all understanding, will guide your heart and mind in Christ Jesus."

It is only when i have His peace that i can appreciate and embrace the beauty of God's given life to me.

I do not want to have any regret, so i will start on doing what God says instead of letting those things overtake my joy.

Have a superb weekend! :)

Faith=?

Its been a while since my last post. A while in the sentence before means 3 or 4 months. However, there were a lot of trials ive been through during those months. Have i overcome them successfully? Well i cant say a strict yes or no, but i can say that im in the middle, well, almost reaching yes. It all started in The end of March, when i was driving home after a long day of teaching (at that time, i was working as a teacher in an intensive learning centre.), i was tired, and yes, the pain on my left shoulder caused by overused muscle hasnt been resolved yet. When suddenly, a ticklish sort of small electricity crawled from the bottom of my back all the way up to my ahoulder. I thought it was only caused by the overused muscle, so i decided to go sleep right away. When i woke up in the morning, it hasnt left my body, but the worse thing is, the area was widened to my hands and my feet. I was exteremely worried and afraid at that time, and those feelings were getting worse when i tried to google what i felt and found out that it might be the symptom of minor stroke. Thus, in the morning, i decided to go to the doctor. The doctor didnt have a clear solution and just gave me some medication. I tried to take them during the day but nothing good happened. The area has now widened to all ofmy body, even to my fingers. Moreover, what i got from the blood test that i did that morning is that i had high ldl cholesterol rate (later, i found out that high stress can cause high ldl too, so be happy, live life with no worries, and do the best you can do today). It was scary, i think it was the worst moment of my life sincethe day that i was born. I was really afraid, really really afraid. I didnt know what to do at that time except to pray. My mom and dad were also worried that my dad took the earliest flight to jakarta the next day, to take me to another doctor recommended by my mom's doctor friend. Anyways, my moms friend also recommended me to do a back spine mri because hes afraid that theres something wrong with my spine. Mri was a painful experience, laying there inside the machine, and i couldnt move so that the result will be good. It was not the laying part that tortures. But it was the fear that something bad may happen to my body while going through the mri process that   Was really torturing. I cried a lot at that times. But during those painful moments, i was reeally aware that when no one can accoany me in experiencing the illness, the worry, and the fear, God was there, He understand me and keep on accompanying me, even through the darkest time when i felt really really afraid and worried. Psalm 23 which is my favorite verse in the Bible came to my life at that time. He said: "even i walk through the valley of the death, i shall not fear for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."  Well, nothing bad happened to my body since then to now. Thats only by the grace of the Lord. But i learned a lot during those times: I learned to think about what Jesus think about bcs i realized that those painful moments also brought a lot of scary thoughts and judgements to myself, which robbed away my inner peace, and i know that God will never condemned me that much that i lost my inner peace a lot of times. I learned that thinking in the frame of the Word of God is the only way which will keep my inner peace, not only at that time, but also at times of daily distress. I was strong because of His encouragement through His Words. And  I learned that God works through all that happened in my life, including those painful times. I cant say that i like that experience, but im really thankful that God allowed those things happened in my life. Those times atrengthen my faith , brought me closer to God, and helped me understand His thoughts better than before. I learned that He's my eternal Hope. He's the only one i can depend to.  I learned that His plan for my life is better than my own plan for my life even i have to go through hard times. He taught me about very important life lessons during those times.  I learned that, worry and fear wont bring any good to my life. Today has its own challenges, so no need to worry Bout tomorrow, because tomorrow will bring its own hardships. Life cant be separated from pain. But i know that, He is The One who hold my life, my complete life, in His hands. All things happened in my life are under His control. Thus, faith, i found to be the full trust that someone can give to something/someone else. These hard times really tested my faith. But these hard times have also strengthened my faith in Jesus Christ. Faith is the foundation of process  in being Jesus' disciple.  So, have faith in Him, whatever happens in your life. :) He's The One that worthy of our faith. 

PATIENCE?

Proverbs 14: 17 A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.

Proverbs 14:29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

1 Cor 13:4. "Love is patience.................."

Wow, even in the important part of bible, part that defines love, which is the most important rule of our life in Jesus Christ, patience comes first.

I also looked for the verses about patience in the bible and came across so many verses in Proverbs.

Well, the reason why i wrote this post is that because i faced so many things that tested my patience today. Woaahh... its like ive been tested to be patient and patient from the morning till night. I realize that it was so easy to be angry and whining all the time. In fact, I did that and I realize that it was not the right response to all of those events. My favorite verse regarding patience is Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city....

I think it is indeed very true, especially when I relate this verse with an old saying "Your biggest enemy is yourself." It may be easier to "defeat" others, whether it is our competitors at work, school, or anything, but defeating ourselves, is the hardest thing to do, especially when we are faced with so many circumstances that arouse our anger.

However, i think when someone can control his/her anger in most situations, he/she'll surely be viewed as a very mature person. and just like in 1 Cor 13:4, it is a part of love. Not ony loving others, but also loving God, and loving our ownself.

Thus, whatever circumstances we face later, we must remember. Patience comes first. :)