Faith=?

Its been a while since my last post. A while in the sentence before means 3 or 4 months. However, there were a lot of trials ive been through during those months. Have i overcome them successfully? Well i cant say a strict yes or no, but i can say that im in the middle, well, almost reaching yes. It all started in The end of March, when i was driving home after a long day of teaching (at that time, i was working as a teacher in an intensive learning centre.), i was tired, and yes, the pain on my left shoulder caused by overused muscle hasnt been resolved yet. When suddenly, a ticklish sort of small electricity crawled from the bottom of my back all the way up to my ahoulder. I thought it was only caused by the overused muscle, so i decided to go sleep right away. When i woke up in the morning, it hasnt left my body, but the worse thing is, the area was widened to my hands and my feet. I was exteremely worried and afraid at that time, and those feelings were getting worse when i tried to google what i felt and found out that it might be the symptom of minor stroke. Thus, in the morning, i decided to go to the doctor. The doctor didnt have a clear solution and just gave me some medication. I tried to take them during the day but nothing good happened. The area has now widened to all ofmy body, even to my fingers. Moreover, what i got from the blood test that i did that morning is that i had high ldl cholesterol rate (later, i found out that high stress can cause high ldl too, so be happy, live life with no worries, and do the best you can do today). It was scary, i think it was the worst moment of my life sincethe day that i was born. I was really afraid, really really afraid. I didnt know what to do at that time except to pray. My mom and dad were also worried that my dad took the earliest flight to jakarta the next day, to take me to another doctor recommended by my mom's doctor friend. Anyways, my moms friend also recommended me to do a back spine mri because hes afraid that theres something wrong with my spine. Mri was a painful experience, laying there inside the machine, and i couldnt move so that the result will be good. It was not the laying part that tortures. But it was the fear that something bad may happen to my body while going through the mri process that   Was really torturing. I cried a lot at that times. But during those painful moments, i was reeally aware that when no one can accoany me in experiencing the illness, the worry, and the fear, God was there, He understand me and keep on accompanying me, even through the darkest time when i felt really really afraid and worried. Psalm 23 which is my favorite verse in the Bible came to my life at that time. He said: "even i walk through the valley of the death, i shall not fear for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."  Well, nothing bad happened to my body since then to now. Thats only by the grace of the Lord. But i learned a lot during those times: I learned to think about what Jesus think about bcs i realized that those painful moments also brought a lot of scary thoughts and judgements to myself, which robbed away my inner peace, and i know that God will never condemned me that much that i lost my inner peace a lot of times. I learned that thinking in the frame of the Word of God is the only way which will keep my inner peace, not only at that time, but also at times of daily distress. I was strong because of His encouragement through His Words. And  I learned that God works through all that happened in my life, including those painful times. I cant say that i like that experience, but im really thankful that God allowed those things happened in my life. Those times atrengthen my faith , brought me closer to God, and helped me understand His thoughts better than before. I learned that He's my eternal Hope. He's the only one i can depend to.  I learned that His plan for my life is better than my own plan for my life even i have to go through hard times. He taught me about very important life lessons during those times.  I learned that, worry and fear wont bring any good to my life. Today has its own challenges, so no need to worry Bout tomorrow, because tomorrow will bring its own hardships. Life cant be separated from pain. But i know that, He is The One who hold my life, my complete life, in His hands. All things happened in my life are under His control. Thus, faith, i found to be the full trust that someone can give to something/someone else. These hard times really tested my faith. But these hard times have also strengthened my faith in Jesus Christ. Faith is the foundation of process  in being Jesus' disciple.  So, have faith in Him, whatever happens in your life. :) He's The One that worthy of our faith.