Instant Habit Problem

Maybe it was a year ago, when i sat at my church listening to the sermon. The pastor asked us if we realized that we are a part of that iGeneration, stating that the i stands for instant.

One year later, and i am still thinking about it. It is not that i agree rightaway with the statement. I still chew on that up to now and i do not think that i can agree 100% with the statement. However, i think there is some part of this generation (well maybe, to be more subjective because this is just an opinion post - my generation) that reflects the instant habits.

Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines instant (adjective) as "becoming something very quickly" "happening or done without delay"

We have so much instant things right now. You name it. Instant photos, instant foods. I, personally, like instant noodles (despite the fact that eating too much of it will cause health problems), it is really good, cheap, and you can get a decent meal (well at least according to my taste - not for all brand of instant noodles though) in about 3-5 mins. It is just like getting something good in a snap. We can see that people are trying to invent almost every type of food in its instant form.

The pastor used iGeneration, and Apple products came rightaway to my mind, i think the pastor was inspired by them in throwing that statement. Apple named their products with i.... iMac, iPod, iPad, etc. I was curious about what the i stands for. I did some googling (i think this is a new verb - a verb just formed during the time of my generation; as a reflection of the issue i am talking about), and found that actually when iMac was first introduced, the i stands for internet. It was launched in 1998, the beginning of the www. phenomenon and the i was given basically to make people realize that iMac will enable easier internet connection for its users. They just need 2 steps to connect to the internet (maybe back then they need more than 2 steps - so different from now, when we are connected anywhere anytime).

So.. i for internet. I think this is the beginning of the "instant" phenomenon sweeping enormously over my generation. Internet is the beginning, and then netscape, internet explorer, and Google. After google, we can find anything (the hardest question - like how was the universe formed; or the easiest - like how to make instant noodles) in milliseconds. Then.. we started to enjoy this thing, and now we are so used to it. I cant imagine my life without google to be honest. Google = instant intelligence.

All these things, all these small habits, have been infiltrating quite deeply to my life. I see it everyday, i live with it everyday, and i just realize that it really affects the way I think. The way i view things, the way i view obstacles.

I just graduated school, bachelor then master rightaway, why?I dont know why, almost all people told me to work first and then do master education, but my guts told me to do so. I had been praying for a long time asking God if it was something right to do and everything seemed like working together and telling me that the answer was "Yes". My principle in life is - you gotta do your job excellently, that is how you will get excellent things; so i studied really hard, and i kept in mind that God bless those who work dilligently; so i did it, expecting that i will land in a good company with a good position easily after i finish school (people supported this statement btw). It has been 2 months since i graduated, i have lodged in a lot of applications to my dream companies and other good companies (not my dream companies, but i see them as a really good companies to learn). Have i gotten a job? Nah. I still struggle, i thought... Why did i bother studying so hard if this is what i get? I thought i will get a good job rightaway because i have been doing well throughout my studies.

I asked God why, and just like other humans do... i asked God, "God, if You are willing, please... let me get a good job quickly." but i am still jobless now. Everytime people asks , "What are you doing now?" "Have u got a job?" "Are you in Jakarta already?" (FYI I dont live in Jakarta but I want to work there, because it is the ultimate city of opportunity in Indonesia), actually people, it is like you put more weight on my shoulders. Everyday is like a battle - a battle with those negative thoughts that haunted me - "Will you get a good job?" "Will you make it?" It was a tiring battle.

I asked my mom... and she just said "Be patient. Pray. Know that job hunting is not an easy thing. Do not be so ideal." It was hard to receive that kind of statements for the first time, and it is still hard to accept it for the second, third, and forth time.... But as that statement seep into my mind, that pastor's iGeneration statement came up again in my mind. I think the instant habits have been clouding my life perspectives. I view ideal things as those that come in instant manner. If it is not instant... it might not be that ideal. All those small things, those small googling habits, those small habits of getting anything i need through internet, those small habits of getting good meal in a package of instant noodles. Small things, accumulated unconsciously, developed into a kind of ideology in my mind.

Those thoughts, wake me up. I realized that this is not how i should view my life. I should trust God that His plans - His timing, more importantly; is the best for me. Maybe it is not an ideal timing according to me, but I believe that He is doing it for my own good, for giving me a future of hope.

I am still waiting for job interview calls now, but now I try to spend every minute in a more thankful way. All these waiting times, even inspired me to update this blog again. Looking at the bright side, I think this blog will still be poorly updated if I already got a job lol.

If you are going through a similar obstacle like mine.. please remember the old sayings "good things come to those who wait" (but people said "good things come to those who grab the opportunity") so, i think the wiser statement is the one in the Bible "...in quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15b NIV
God also said that "love is patient..." (1 Cor 13:4a NIV)  right? So maybe.. if we can be more patient with our lives, then we can see our lives in a more loving way and be more joyful in living . :)

A thankyou note

Blogging is not something that runs through my veins, it is not something that i really love, and it is not something that i am really interested in. I started this blog as a personal scrapbook - a book where i store my insights, ideas, thoughts, and reflections. It was purely personal motivation, but if it can help others, id be more than happy. I do not have writing background - i studied business; so writing is not my nature. All of these are why this blog is very poorly updated. I, frankly, am struggling on continuously updating this blog. 

I have been waiting for a job these last two months, and wondered what i should do, that can make me productive beside watching movies (i love movies - except horror, explicit thriller, and semiporn comedy); and then i recalled that i have this blog, so i started writing again! Hopefully, this can be a productive habit that i can keep and hopefully, I can be what written on the image above. :D :D

Last Friday, i was invited for a job interview for an HR position in one of the best financial institution in Indonesia. It was actually a followup interview as i had been interviewed once before.

I could get this opportunity by the referral of one of the most influential person that i knew in my life. Anyway, the person who invited me, was one of the most influential person in the financial institution, so I knew that if he wants to meet me in person, it is such an honour as He himself must have tons of to-dos and responsibilities.

Deep in my heart, i prayed that i can get that job, because i have been waiting for a job for almost 2 months (eventhough i dont know about the exact position and job desc i will get). Came to think about it, it actually opened my mind about another phenomenon that is happening in my generation (at least it is my hypothesis, havent been tested - just my thoughts; will discuss abt it in the next post). 

As i went inside the interview room, i felt quite tense and nervous, 
but the interviewer was nice and brings relaxed atmosphere. The interview went, well in my opinion - it didnt go well, i was nervous that i forgot the basic functions of HR, something that i should have remembered automatically without even trying to dig into my memories; other thing, i was nervous that i couldnt recall 2 of the 3 elective subjects that i studied during my master. Pretty terrible. The night before the interview, however, i felt quite unsure about the interview, it was like i could see myself not getting the job. 

The interview then went normally, i felt that it was directed to be like a coaching session rather than an interview. He jokingly said that the interview was actually a PhD lecture. It indeed, refreshed my brain on the basic HR concepts that i should dig in and understand more deeply (that i can say it automatically without even thinking as it has been ingrained in my memories); it also injected my brain with motivation, motivation to do even greater things, like going to school again and studying for something that i have been interested in very much, psychology (it is not that i want to be a clinical psychologist - i just want to learn about psychology more deeply that i may apply it in my daily life). 

He asked me if i like to read books, and I said, yes, well i was quite hesitant if my reading hobby is really valid as i dont really read "intellectual" and "serious" books - most of the books i read were novels  (please dont judge) and books talking about relationships, plus a little bit of autobiography. Hmm... Could it be categorized as a valid reading hobby? So i adjusted my statement, saying that i like reading but hate books which is filled only with theories. Then, he recommended a list of books, he said, the books are interesting because they are also filled with stories, about people, and about companies. So i thought, okay, maybe i can chew them. I put the list in my ipad notes but not really sure whether i should read them in the future. 

The interview came to an end and not surprisingly, he said that i dont get the job, because i am still lack of experience. He suggested me to join in the selection for management trainee program because he believed that if i can join in, it will be much easier for me to develop in the future. 

I must be lying if i say that i am not disappointed with the result. Those 2 months, waiting on phone calls, wondering why job hunting is really hard, and wondering why i bothered to study really hard by believing that good grades will give me job easily. I came home not satisfied and actually, 2 days before the interview, my self esteem was shattered - it was trigerred by an event - i think i dont need to put it here - but it really destroyed my defense system on negative thoughts; i gave up on those negativity that crushed me hardly. However, i am really thankful that God gave me a really supportive mom, through her words, i could pick up those shattered pieces and start to believe again, that God's plans -  eventhough i cant understand it sometimes - is the best. 

I came home, lie on the bed, and thinking... But that time, i prayed to God to give me enough strength to overcome that wave of negativity which tried to go into my mind. And i think again... Then somehow a statement popped in my head, "be thankful that you got that interview session, for eventhough you dont get the job, you gained valuable insights and ideas about your life - about what you should do for your life." Then i realized, it is indeed, very true. I was really inspired by that short interview session. 

The list of those recommended books, then came into my mind. I thought, i really need to upgrade my knowledge if i want to develop myself. Self-Satisfaction is not a good thing. So i drove to the nearest shoppung mall and bought two of the books from the list. 

One of the book that i just finished was entitled, "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. He did not lie, the interviewer clearly told me that the book contain stories about people. The book got me drowned inside it. Now that i have finished it, i wonder why i just started to read these kind of books when they are actually really useful. My stereotypes on books - i think, have really blinded me. I always stereotyped them as boring, thick, and i thought i will never finish one. But those stereotypes were wrong, i just finished a book, 284 pages single spaced 10' times new roman. 

I have fallen in love with this kind of book, and i am on my way to read more and more and more of them. :) 

Just like the title, this is my thankyou note, to GOD, who has crafted an interesting story - this story of my life - that those events could happen; to my Mom, who has been my bestest friend and my loyal supporter throughout all my ups and downs; and lastly, to the interviewer, thank you Sir for inspiring me through your "coaching/interview" session.

P.s. Ill try to post the book review in several days.